To Russia With Love

Hey, did you know Russia has a Drug Czar? Who’d’a thunk Russia would have a czar? (yuk, yuk, har, har) The cat’s name is Viktor Ivanov. Apparently, in Russia, czars live a sheltered life.

Vik was over here carrying on about our policy not to trash the Afghanistan poppy fields. He wants us to spray paraquat or a defoliant on ’em. Whatever it is we might have used in Colombia.  He says that the peasants growing them don’t get squat for it anyway so it shouldn’t really piss them off.

I’ve already made a suggestion that those poppy plants should be bought, processed into opioid pain relievers and distributed in the third world countries sorely lacking them. Hell, if I wasn’t afraid of going to the slammer I’d grow a few poppies. I wouldn’t mind smoking a little opium when I get the break out pain. I’m guessing it would be easier on my liver than my current narcotic prescription.

So… for whatever reason Viktor found himself in California. Viktor has freaked, man. He can’t believe that medicinal cannabis is legal in California! Prop 19 really has him in a tizzy! Enough so that he met with L.A.’s mayor and Sheriff to banter about this terrible state of affairs. If you’ve been following along with the Prop 19 hysteria you’ll know that Sheriff Baca is a bit of a buffoon. He was a no-show when invited to a debate with a L.E.A.P. speaker. I think the gold stars he wears on his collar (five, each side) sure look swell though!

In Viktor Ivanov’s opinion cannabis legalization will be catastrophic. He says it’s going to lead to more drug addiction, and you know that addiction leads to psychiatric deviation. “They say, ‘What does God do when he wants to punish a person? He deprives him of his mind'”

No, man, I’m not making this shit up. I’m not nearly talented enough to come up this kind of stuff. I pulled this off of the foreign Policy magazine website. Here, you can check out the whole article if you’d care too:


You know, I used to wonder if all of the naysayers, legalization opponents, witch hunters (whatever you want’a call ’em), here in the States, weren’t pulling off of the same jug of Kool Aid. But, Russia is, like, way over there. Do they even have Kool Aid?

I’m convinced now it’s in the Vodka. I mean, that’s a common element, right? Beware the Russian Vodka! (this public announcement brought to you by; just another Drift)


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