It’s Not Just A Job…

It’s An Adventure!

Is that still the navy’s recruiting slogan? I haven’t seen a TV ad for any military service in quite sometime. Have they been outlawed? In this repressed economy do the services have enough folks beating on their doors that advertising  isn’t any longer required? I dunno. I haven’t been paying a lot of attention to the statistics.

Will it surprise you to know that I’m subscribed to, though? For some, maybe. Others, maybe not (shrug). I picked up this headline from there the other day, 64 Sailors to Be Kicked Out for Drug Use. Well, ‘least they didn’t call it  Abuse, eh? What dope were these squids doing?! Was it the cocaine? How about meth? LSD, right?

Okay, six copped to a little coke and one to meth. Uh, 64 minus seven equals… So what did the other, uh, 57 get busted for? That “Spice” crap, man! No, I’m serious! Fucking Spice.

I’ll take a wild assed guess and say the powder users got caught out on the Spice sting. I mean, everyone knows you can do a mirror full of about anything on a Friday night and pop clean on a U.A. come Monday or Tuesday, right? I’d guess powders and pill type drugs have become those of recreational choice for our service members, simply for that reason. Those that would care to, or dare to, obviously.

I’d take a wild guess and say the Spice smokers got caught out, too. I’ll bet no one informed them the navy was screening for something that previously wasn’t on the radar. Those 57 thought better of smoking a safe psychoactive plant for fear of getting popped, so they dumped a bag of who-knows-what into a pipe, smoked it, and got loaded. They thought they were good. Hell, I’d bet most (some?) didn’t even realize they were doing something contrary to the rules.

49 of the busted were aboard the aircraft carrier Carl Vinson. There was a middle man, two distributors and (oh my GAWD!) 46 users. Heh, I’ll be damned if that doesn’t bring back fond memories… Have you ever smoked any of that African hash from out of the Mediterranean? You know, with the white swirls in it?

I’m off track again, huh?

Okay, how’s this; a sailor can get just as drunk as they care to, in any port, every port, just so long as they don’t cause any trouble. Ask any carrier sailor out there about the puke sloshing on the decks of the liberty launches. A liberty launch is like a skiff that runs squids back and forth from the ship to shore. Not all ships pull up to a pier.

Ask sailors ported in Norfolk during the late seventies what was cheaper to buy on the pier, a sixteen ounce soda pop or a sixteen ounce beer. I’ll tell you. It was the beer.

“The Navy’s policy on drug abuse is simple and clear — zero tolerance,” said Vice Admiral Gerald R. Beaman, commander of the Third Fleet. “Drug abuse puts lives and missions at risk and undercuts unit readiness and morale.”

I’d say, admiral, if you’d quit pissing your sailors, morale would boost. I’d also comment that if you let the sailors decide whom is putting whose life at risk then “lives”, “missions” and “readiness” would police themselves.

‘Course, my navy isn’t today’s. In mine, a man could put his fist in another’s face without fear of assault charges. In mine, we weeded out those that would be a risk to our lives, therefore the mission.

We didn’t care about “dope.”

A man could/would do his job. You would trust your life to a man/or not.

And we didn’t fuck around with packages of who the hell knows what so that we could beat a piss test.

Now please, don’t misunderstand, I’m not advocating a flight deck full of stoned out crewman. What I’m advocating is not pressing our sailors into alcoholism. It’s relatively easy for most to quit smoking cannabis when they choose to. For a stone cold alky to stop cold turkey… did you know that can be fatal?

Have a drink. Don’t smoke that heathen weed!

This cuts close to home. I was a carrier sailor. When I was leaving the America the Arresting Gear Officer handed me a letter of recommendation. I’ll quote a short section, “… proven to be the best Hook Runner in the sixth fleet…”

There’s no fucking way in hell I could have passed a piss test.

The navy’s fucking up if they believe the “clean” are the “cream.”

I’ve a book I’ve written, and titled, A Little Sex, A Lot of Dope and an Aircraft Carrier that’s due to be published in the next month or so. I’m thinking I’ll send Admiral Beaman a copy. Mayhap it’ll be enlightening?

The statute of limitations is seven years, right? No matter. The book is a work of fiction… damn, I just blew spew all over my keyboard!

Be safe, folks. Whatever the definition of “safe” is for you, or whatever you’re in to.


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